It’s funny how your emotion could turn upside down in an instant. In a matter of small thing, navigate by small things. In the morning, you’re so positive but then when the sun goes up just in a span of hours you became gloomy you feel like crying.

And today, it happened to me. I feel so positive this morning because I’m going to see my friends. Meeting them again after a month not being around them. One hour.. two hours passed by. I met them, greeted them, exchanging news about what’s going on lately and I laughed with them. But between the conversation, there was this one thing that makes me feel uncomfortable. I try to ignore it and at first it effected me nothing.

But the uneasiness crept up again when I’m riding on my way home.

I come to a realization that I haven’t fighting for myself enough and it hit me really hard. I feel like crying thinking about that on my way back home. I feel like crying when I know that I have neglected myself all this time. All the things I’ve done and still … I’m going nowhere.

Now I’m left feeling hurts.

I can not describe it more without adding the facts that will embarrass myself. And I’m sorry, to you all, if this post was so absurd, so melancholic or so private that you may thought it shouldn’t be posted in here. Except that I need to pour it out in a writing, it is why.


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